On January 14th I celebrated my 36thbirthday. Well actually I have been celebrating for almost two weeks but who is counting. My BFF kicked it off by taking me to STK. If you love steak then you need to make sure you check out STK if there is one in your area. After that, it was breakfast, dinners, and a birthday celebration on my actual birthday January 14. I haven’t gone all out for my birthday in years and this year I wanted to celebrate. I am thankful for my squad. I make it a point to pour into people and it feels great to feel loved.
As I reflect over the last 10 years, I have grown so much as a woman. 10 years ago I was married to a man I no longer felt connected with, I was at a job that I hated and I started a side business that was going to be my nest egg. Even though my personal life was in shambles I felt confident in my career choice but never thought full-time entrepreneurship was for me. I was young ambitious and green. I mean I was GREEN. I was a country girl living in Atlanta and trying to figure out life. There were many highs and lows but I am glad that I went through those storms to become the woman I am today. Now I am remarried to a man that I love. I have 4 bonus children and 1 together. I still have not figured out life but I am finally walking in my purpose. I know I have so much more to learn. I decided to create a list of my life lessons thus far.
- Everyone is not going to like you. This was really hard for me. I was always a likable, social person. I think it is because I am an only child (I hated being an only child). I always loved being around people. But I have learned that I am not everyone’s cup of tea and I am okay with that now.
- Love is a real thing. I got divorced really young and I thought marriage was some bull! I was young and naive but I no longer believed in the knight in shining armor fairy tale. Well, I am here to tell you that love exist. I remarried and I love my husband so much. He gets on my damn nervous sometimes but there is no one else for me. He is my yin to my yang and I love it. (I still do not believe in the knight in shining armor but I do believe in love)
- Happiness is not something you wake up instantly feeling every day. This by far was the hardest lesson for me. I really thought adults woke up happy every day. I wish someone would have told me that happiness was a choice. No matter your circumstances or current situation happiness is something you choose. Just like the shirt or skirt, you decide to put on each day you have to choose happiness.
- Building relationships is the key to everything. I don’t care how much education you have or how much money you have. If you do not know how to build relationships you will not make it in this world. Building and nurturing relationships is super important in life.
- Meditation and yoga will save your life. I found myseld going in and out of depression a few years ago. I mean didn’t want to get out of bed, felt like I am sleep walking depressed. Affirmations, meditation, and yoga saved my life ( I will have to write about that later). I could not wrap my head around meditation at first. It took me forever to stop overthinking it and get still. But it worked and I am so thankful I discovered it.
- Kids are really an amazing gift from God. Some days I don’t like my kids. I mean they get on my nerves and if you have kids you know what I mean. But I will tell you having children will change your life. To know you are responsible for raising a child to be a normal, smart and well-respected adult is a lot of responsibility but worth everything I do in life.
- You will never appreciate your parents until you have kids. I know some of you have sworn off kids and maybe this is not a true statement but when you have kids you really respect all the ish you put your parents through.
- Stop being so damn serious. I never really enjoyed being young because I wanted to grow up way to fast. I do not have any regrets (okay maybe a few) but I do wish I would not have been so damn serious all the time. There is a time to laugh and have a good time.
- Storms are temporary. When you are going through a tough time you really think it will take you out. There were a few storms that I thought would knock me down so bad that I would never get up. Well, guess what? I got up and I am much better now. Storms are temporary and I am glad I know that now.
- The grass on the other side could be fake. Comparison has paralyzed my business growth many times. There were times that I would cry because I could not understand how my ‘competition’ was surpassing me. Well, one thing I have learned is sometimes the ones you are comparing yourself to are in the same boat. They just take better pictures and post the good on social media. I know, I know, I am too grown to worry about what other people are doing but I do and I am glad I have learned my lesson.
- Self-doubt or the Imposter Syndrome will never go away but it is manageable. Many of you know that I am obsessed with learning more about the imposter syndrome and currently working on a book about it. As I interview other women, I have learned that often times the more success the more self-doubt can kick in. I have learned how to manage my imposter syndrome and I hope to share my thoughts with the world this year.
- Cake and a coke can solve most problems. I know not the most healthy diet but when I am really down a nice slice of cake and a coke does the trick (even if it only last 30 mins).
- I am not perfect and perfect doesn’t exist. Another major lesson is that I have to stop chasing perfect. It doesn’t exist and I was killing myself trying to chase it every day.
- A procrastinator can still get it done. Being a procrastinator makes it difficult to be an entrepreneur. I want to be a go-getter and it sounds really good but most days I’m not. I wait until the very last minute and complain about the last minute pressure all the time. It is something I have been working on for years and I think that I am finally cracking the code. You can still get things done. You just have to find different things to motivated you and push through when you would rather sit on the couch and binge watch Netflix.
- God’s timing is hard to wait for but amazing when you do. Another hard one to learn. Waiting on God is tough when you are a control freak. But the times that I did wait on him the wait was so worth it.
- There are mean people in the world. Mean girls do exist. Not just in movies but in real life. I honestly thought the term “haters” was something made up. But honey when I tell you (yes that is my country slang coming out) haters are real. I am still working on how to deal with them. Maybe I will have that solved by 37 we shall see.
- I am more like my mom every day. Yes, I said it. Don’t tell her I said it, but I did. I swore up and down I would not be like her. I mean I remember the day I said I would never say that to my kids or I would never do that like her. Well, the saying the “apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree” is right. I love my mother and I am so grateful to have her in my life but man I am more like her every day.